i am in oz again, everything is as i remember it, the trams (though impractically updated) run the same lines i like to catch to st. kilda, or fitzroy, or more probably to the outskirts of those now overpopulated over touristicized attractions.
the things i always look forward to are here and waiting for me, the beer, the venues to drink it in and the friends to drink it with. some things have changed slightly, a closed venue (the rob roy, that mysteriously re-opened seconds later), a new store or two, nothing drastic in the last six months. everything is as it should be, but nothing is the same.
nothing is the same, because everything is different for me. i have a new ep out with splendid, that is already promising to do really well, there’s lots of promo to be done and already much under my belt with phoners and photo shoots completed before i even boarded the plane. there’s a new band for my first solo ventures ever, as jesse was going to be busy through to 2005 with moz.
the band is very eclectic and probably very scared about it! i have thrown my favourite bass player, bill mcdonald, my favourite and only sister, becky, and my much loved bro-in-law, anthony schulz, into the mix and let them flounder in my half-baked ideas…..it’s coming together, but i have asked a lot of a few people.
then there are the new beginnings for frente, which i have no concept of where and how it will go, just that simon and i want to have some fun doing music together (that’s a very new concept).
but the biggest change, that makes all things, familiar and unfamiliar seem strange, is that jesse and i are no longer together. since our separation nearly 3 months ago, everything routine, mundane and ordinary is not. it’s all new and that’s more weird than good, but it’s also good in a weird way. we split amicably. we tried all avenues of togetherness and reconciliation, which left us feeling about as satisfied as one can about something that you were hoping you could be proven wrong on. we spent the last couple of months awkwardly implementing the separation process that neither of us wanted to begin. now we are about as far away from each other as could be humanly possible, with him flying to europe for more dates with moz and me to australia for…..more dates.
these are the things i am most familiar with, touring, promoting, playing gigs and while i am glad to be so busy, there is an eerie silence to the whole process, that no matter how many people i surround myself with right now, doesn’t get drowned out. i am not in mourning, as i believe we did the right thing and that we did all we could to get to that decision. i am just feeling the difference, i am sad and i am happy all at once. i expect my head will be doing a lot of this yo-yoing before it settles with the rearranging of all that was and finds out what is. so, here i go into the new year with nothing old to encumber me. the new will be raw, but it will be fresh. wish me luck.