it ain’t over til the naked girl with the carmen miranda headpiece sings accidentally kelly street in front of a hoard of smug frente fans…..with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth (i am smoking as i write this).
hmm, it is january 2006 and i am still in the throes of trying to quit smoking. i knew it would be tough, but those philip morris guys knew it was going to be big when they put those tobacco products on the market.
i will not succumb to quitting quitting and singing the dreaded biggest frente hit to date, whose lyrics i refuse to memorize, just yet.
i have a new plan. i say to myself, no matter whether i fail and light up an orange and white pencil shaped cancer toy or not, that i am not a smoker.
i am trying not to count how many i smoke, when i accidentally (kelly street) do flick the flint of ignition. i just keep plugging away at the ultimate count of zero per day.
i actually ‘quit’ on the 3rd of january, only to be lured back in by the second or third day, with the excuse of enjoying ‘just one’.
funny thing is, i don’t even enjoy them. i hate them. they don’t taste good, i don’t feel good, and they’re not good for me.
what kind of sick game is this?
so, here is the official update on how it is going for me…….. lousy.
i will keep you all up to date on my progress, as there will be some.
i will not stop quitting til i’ve stopped smoking……….. i cannot even believe it is me saying these words! i cannot even believe i have this problem. i really cannot believe i am admitting this to you all……
meanwhile, in the accomplishment section of this confession, i have learnt how to record demos on my computer, which is a major milestone for me.
i wrote a song during my month long packing extravaganza, called ‘killer’. it is sweet and dark, just the way i like them.
i’ve been doing a writing retreat right here in my own home. just sitting around and plundering the depths. apparently year of the dog is a year for internal reflection and i have kicked off with an inside voice shout of hallelujah on that front.
i did spend my entire last twelve months being about as sociable of a butterfly as one girl can without growing wings or splitting into two people, which would’ve enabled me to cover the town with more than one can of red paint.
boy did that get boring…..
so, the new quiet ang, is enjoying her own company again. practicing guitar, staring at walls, gardening, being generally domestic, meditating, and trying to get out of piss-fitness (the ability to drink most fair sized adults under the table) and back into yoga shape. oh, and did i mention, i am cooking? yes, the fad has taken quite successfully. i am now poring my way through the marie claire ‘crisp meals’ cookbook i got for chrissie and spending my hard earned cash on bunches of cilantro instead of fistfuls of fried rice. my friends and family are impressed, though none more-so than me.
nice to have my brain back too.
got some hoi dates coming up in feb, just in case i forget what the end result of all this glorious pondering brings. we should be making our way to most parts of oz this time…..even perth. it’ll be just dean, jasper and myself this leg. i enjoy the pared down shows, we seem to get more creative the less band members we have to rely on to pull out the fancy moves on our behalf. i will miss the strong female quotient, though, as that is still such an enjoyable and novel concept for me. plus, the violin and female harmonies make my soul sing. but sharing a mike face to face with dean in our unspoken competition to make the other lose their composure, whilst maintaining one’s own, is poetry in itself.
i will, hopefully, also do another senorita soiree with rebecca barnard, lisa miller and emily ullman, which should more than make up for the missing minstrelesses on the hoi tour. we had talked about doing a repeat performance of our 2005 little prince night, in 2006, so i’ll let you know if anything comes of it.
stay tuned for some brief reports of my clean air emission ambition……. any feedback, or advice will be greatly appreciated………or even just some abuse or admonitions……
much love and welcome to dog year,
ang x